so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize