dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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