Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
