And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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