Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
