you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
