Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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