So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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