Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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