It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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