i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
