haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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