He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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