are you so shy because you have an std?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
