You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
