It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They took my balls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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