I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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