Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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