Moan for me like Helen Keller
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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