Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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