Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
