i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
