ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
