I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Houston, we have a squirter
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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