I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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