He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
