He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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