I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
