did you get engaged???
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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