I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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