I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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