Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
