I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
