i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize