people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
