We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize