Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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