the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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