google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
