So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
