I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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