I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
