But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
actually, I'm a sock model
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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