If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
