I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
