All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
your room smells of hookers.
And success
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
