Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
