yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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