do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
