I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
