At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Drake has all the answers
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
