??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
