The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
