god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You work out of a Hotel?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
