Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
