I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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