I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
