I wish life had little blips of pornography
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
