I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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